Saturday, September 8, 2012

Are we crazy?

They usually give me a look with raised eye brows & a half hearted, forced smile and something like "Oh, really. How neat" comes out of their mouths. It's not that I expect people to understand or even be genuinely excited for us when I share with them the news that we're adopting an 11 year old boy from ET.  To be honest I don't know what reaction I would prefer, maybe just a "It's great to see God bless you in that way" I don't know...I am just so sick of blank stares, warnings of what a challenge it will be & in-genuine enthusiasm. Welp, I guess this post already turned into a venting sesh. Sorry. John's out of town so this is what it's come to!  Now don't get me wrong. We have several friends & family members who's support & encouragement is amazingly overwhelming!  They know who they are and if you are reading this our "village", WE LOVE YOU & APPRECIATE YOU MORE NOW THAN EVER!

I am normally not the type of person who lets other people's opinions & words get to me but recently I have found myself getting frustrated. I realize it's not that common to adopt a 11 year old when you're 25 & have never raised a child that age. I realize it's not going to be a cake walk raising him in a completely different culture. I realize our son will have a lot to grieve over with the loss of his first family & everything he's ever known. I realize that our Bek will face ridicule from his peers for having white parents & being adopted. I realize that we will experience many challenges with our new son, some related to adoption others just normal kid stuff. I sometimes want to yell at people who start to inform me of all the struggles we are going to endure I say "DO YOU THINK WE DON'T KNOW THAT! DO YOU THINK WE WENT INTO THIS DECISION LIGHTY?" I usually end up biting my tongue, exchanging the half-hearted smile and try to end the conversation before I burst. If I sound like I am emotionally unstable right now it's because I child is on a different continent & there is nothing I can do to bring him home sooner. It is enough to drive a person INSANE & it's beginning to take a toll on my heart. When people make hurtful comments I want to tell them how amazing our new son is. I want to tell them how this sweet child is deserving a family despite is age...or yet especially because of his age! I want to tell them how kind he is & how wherever we are he runs to get a chair for me to sit in. I want them to see the look he gives me when he makes a goal while playing soccer with his friends, it would melt any heart! I find myself almost immediately sharing a photo of him as if that's going to make them understand. It doesn't but it gives me an opportunity to look at his cute face:) I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know without a doubt that this is the Lord's plan for our family. Are we crazy? Probably. But I think that's a good thing. People thought Jesus was a little nuts when He walked this earth so why should our lives look any different? Why should we not love with reckless abandon or take risks? Why should we play it safe in order to not draw attention to ourselves or make others comfortable or yet risk going through hardship? Although I would never have thought I would have an 11 year old at my age & stage in life I wouldn't change a thing. We are not perfect parents & still have a lot of learning to do but I am always comforted in the fact that Bek doesn't need perfect parents, he needs parents who perfectly love him. That we can do! The Lord freely loves me & shows me grace why can't I do that for a child, my child? I am reading about 1300 adoption/parenting books right now trying to prepare. Often times find myself putting the book down in a daze...although I am doing my best to prepare I can't under estimate the Lord's hand in all of this. He has led us to our son & I fully trust He will guide us through this crazy journey called life.

Praying we get cleared to bring Bek home next week. It's unlikely but God LOVES making the unlikely happen...He's a showoff like that;)

xo Britt


  1. I don't know you and your amazing family, but I found this blog from reading your photography blog! I think what you are doing is truly wonderful and you're going to be perfect parents for Bek. Don't let other's rude and unsupportive comments get you down. As Christians, we are not of this world, but HIS! The Lord has a plan for your family and all you can do is obey and trust Him (which you are obviously doing). People thought Noah was crazy when he built the ark and gathered all the animals...I think what you're doing is selfless and awesome. You're giving this boy a chance to be raised in a good home with Godly parents. Nothing could be better than that!Sorry for the novel comment ;)

  2. Yep! The BEST kind of CRAZY!!! God has called us all to a crazy kind of love and I wholeheartedly support your desire to live it out by loving on HIS children.
    -from one crazy mama to another.... :)

  3. Oh... What a shame it is to read this post and hear such negativity for such a selfless couple. I do know you and John...not as well as I'd like to, but I knew you before you became Cruz's parents and I knew then how much your future children were on your heart then and I know that you guys are fully listening to God and his commands for your life and the life of the family HE has chosen for you. I pray that you can rest in the FACT that before you and John were even a thought in either of your parents minds, God already had it in his plan for you two to be the parents of Cruz and Bek (...and maybe a few more LUCKY kiddos)! Don't regret posting this...I would have done the same. It is good for people to see the judgement and self-evaluate the way we all act and the words that we say. You guys are an amazing couple and when your children are adults and parents themselves, they will know what the meaning of true love is, because YOU gave them that chance. Praying for a peaceful heart.

  4. Beautifully written, Brittany! Often, those who follow hard after the Lord will do the opposite of what is comfortable for others -- and definitely not what the world says makes sense. Stand strong and trust in Him. He will carry you through the hard parts and the wonderful parts of your story. And BOTH will give glory to Him!

  5. I love this post Brittany. I love following your story through your blog and facebook. You and Jon both are such an encouragement to me- a true picture of what Christ has called us to be. You are both so faithful to Him. Can't wait to continue to read your family's story. Praying for you all. -Andrea Bell

  6. Brit- this post brings tears to my eyes. I feel so much love and goodness in your heart. What you are doing is such a remarkable story of generosity and love- the kind that most people just can't comprehend.