A letter to our baby

I wrote our baby a letter yesterday. I kept thinking about him/her & thought it'd be fun to put some of my feelings on paper (well not really, I typed it but paper sounds better:)) Here it is!

Dear Baby,

Mommy & Daddy have been thinking about you a lot lately. We’ve been wondering where you are, what you’ll look like, and when we’ll get to meet you. We’re hoping it’s not too far away! You are going to have two mommies little one! Lucky you, not every baby gets two moms...just very special ones. Your birth mommy has a very difficult decision to make, one that she will think about for the rest of her life. She will be making the decision to give you to us, your mommy & daddy for life. Your birth mom loves you & that is why she will make this hard decision. She wanted you to have a life she couldn’t offer you, I will tell you more about this when you’re a little older. For now daddy & I will have to be patient & wait for God to bring you home to us. We are very excited to meet you sweetie. Mommy can’t seem to think about anything else lately. You will have siblings too baby, hopefully a few of them! God has called us to adopt you, YOU are our PLAN A. Please never forget that! You might have some questions for us when you get older & we want you to ask us whatever you want to. We love you & prayed for you long before you came into our lives...that’s what a lot mommy’s & daddy’s do, they dream about their babies long before they come into the world! It might sound a little silly to you but we loved you long before we met you, we just knew you would be perfectly ours.

I want to promise you something baby. Mommy & Daddy will always love you, support you and pray for you. We promise to teach you about the Lord & love one another forever. We have a dream for you too, we hope you will love the Lord & follow His call in your life. Mommy & Daddy are following God’s call & that’s why we’re adopting you. What a blessing you will be in our lives! I have always wanted to be a mommy, you’ve been on my mind for many years & I am anticipating bringing you home. We'll do lots of fun things together, daddy wants to teach you about sports & mommy will teach you about music & art.

With much love & anticipation,

Mommy

Love this book!

A friend of ours got me this book last week. She raved about the author & thought I would like it, she was right! I started it yesterday at the pool & am almost done:) It's one of those books you don't want to finish because it's SO good. Not a chapter went by with out a few tears falling on the pages...I am usually not a crier when I read but this book truly moved me. It was so real & applicable to what John and I are going through right now.

The book is a compilation of adoption stories, all different types. I could relate to the couple's anticipation & desire to grow their families through adoption, some by choice most due to infertility. Regardless, all the stories were about the miracle of adoption & how God's plan for our life isn't always our own. His way is the only way we can experience true joy & this book was a reminder of that truth.

I would recommend this book to anyone! Everyone has been adopted by our Father & everyone will have a friend or family member who has or will have experience with adoption so it's very applicable & just a great quick read.

On a side note, I CAN'T GET OUR BABY OFF MY MIND! :) Just had to share that with you!

Q & A

Today we met with our caseworker for the first time. She said it is usually an hour meeting & we just talk about the basics of the adoption process & she asks us some questions about ourselves and so on...welp, the meeting was 3 hours long! I'm sure most of you are not surprised at all, John & I can be a little chatty. Our caseworker is GREAT, I've read some horror stories online about caseworkers & the home study process but from what I can tell it will be a fun experience & a very comfortable relationship. We felt comfortable with her right away, we feel fortunate to have been matched up with such a kind, compassionate caseworker! It will definitely make the process that much smoother:)

We will be sharing the news that we have started the adoption process with the rest of the world today. We wanted to wait until we met with our caseworker & selected our agency. Now that we have we are absolutely over joyed to let the world know of our plans!

The next step is filling out a lot of paperwork & deciding when we will be starting our classes (we'll take 7 weeks worth), since we will be in ND most of July we might not be able to start until October which is a little ways away but we are confident things will work out perfectly. I think it will be challenging remaining patient but we trust everything will happen according to God's plan & in His time.

Some more exciting news is that Jania & Justin (John's sister) will be having their second baby girl TODAY!!!! We are anxiously awaiting the call! Aunty & Uncle are excited to meet little Olivia:)

Meeting with our caseworker:)

I got our first call from our caseworker Monday, her name is Summer. She sounds super friendly & I've heard really great things about her from another couple who she was assigned to through CFCA.

We will be having our initial meeting at our home this coming Monday. Our caseworker will be going over the process in greater detail with us & get to know us better to see if we will be a "good fit" for the agency. She lives out in our area so we will probably be having most of our meeting here & not the agency in Phoenix. That will be nice! I am really looking forward to this meeting because I feel like it's one step closer to starting the process to bring home our first child:) Just the thought stirs up all kinds of emotions in me! There are so many unknowns like, what color of eyes will he or she have? What race will our sweet baby be? What will our birth mom be like? How long will everything take? They go on & on!! Thankfully, we have complete trust in our Lord to unite us with the baby we're supposed to have & we have faith that He has the perfect plan for this chapter in our lives. Knowing that calms my concerns & pleases my heart.

I will keep ya posted! Please pray for us, as you know there are so many things to consider when taking that first step to growing our family. We love you all & are thankful to have your support!

I couldn't resist!

It's been a fun, interesting, & exciting week for us! We have told pretty much all our family & close friends about our decision to adopt. For the most part everyone has been supportive of the idea (of course we got the occasional "I didn't know you two had been trying" assuming we are adopting because we have been unable to get pregnant. When we tell them "nope, this is what we are feeling called to for our first" we are sometimes given a look of bewilderment...oh well! We know what we want & where we feel the Lord taking us & our family:)

It is a unique journey starting to prepare for a baby that isn't growing inside of me. There is no noxiousness, no cravings, nothing in my body telling me we will be having a baby. Even though I am not experiencing the common sighs of pregnancy there is the tickle inside my stomach every time I think of our little one, there is a strong longing to hold our baby, & most of all there is a sense of peace & contentment every time I think about the idea of starting our family through adoption. I am trying to be patient while we wait to hear back from the agency about whether we will be accepted into the program or not, I am feeling hopeful.

During the last few months I have found myself drawn to the baby section every time I visit a store...I never intend to buy anything I just walk through the aisles & picture what our nursery will look like, what clothes our baby will wear, & what toys he/she will drool all over. A couple days ago while at one of my favorite stores (TJ Maxx) I found some shoes I just couldn't NOT buy, I had to get them. Even though the logical Brittany was telling me not to & that it was silly, I got them. My first baby purchase ever and it felt darn good:) The pics of the shoes were taken in our baby's nursery...as you can see we have not started it yet & probably won't until awhile down the adoption road.

They are blue & made for a little boy I'm guessing but who says a baby girl can't rock it out in blue...that's the feminist in me I guess!

Waiting with anticipation & hope,

Britt

and the paperwork begins!

In case you were wondering what the first step is in the adoption process is it's PAPERWORK and lots of it!

So today I sit here enjoying my cold cup of Joe filling out the first bunch of applications. For one of the domestic agencies we had to fill out a couple statements of faith. I posted my response below, it was challenging but fun to put my thoughts into writing. Welp, enough procrastinating!

Have a great Wednesday!

Response to question #1: Please describe Jesus Christ’s involvement in your life. Do you feel that Jesus has a central role in your life? If so, when did that begin to take place for you?

Since I accepted Jesus into my life 7 years ago I have been dramatically changed. The contentment & peace my relationship with the Lord brings me is beyond words and the central part of my being. The grace & mercy God has shown me is humbling and it is my hope to be a witness of the Lord’s truth to everyone in my life, especially our children. My basis of how to live life & treat others comes from the Bible. Scripture gives us clear & direct guidelines on our role here on earth during this lifetime. Though I fail at living the life He designed for us to live all the time I am completely amazed by His grace and ability to shape our sinful hearts & mold us into His servants. I pray that my heart will always be His to guide, my feet will always follow His call, and that my mind will never stop seeking Him and His will for our family.

Response to question #2: What do you want your children to understand about the message of Christianity?

I have been praying for our children since I became a believer myself. It is my hope that they not only know who the Lord is but make a personal choice to follow & seek Him. John and I plan to witness to our children through our personal relationships with the Lord, our relationship with one another, spending time reading scripture with our children, & teaching them the power of prayer in their daily life. Communication is not only key in a marriage but in any relationship, including that of our Savior. It is important that our children not just know the surface of what it means to be a believer of Jesus Christ but that they understand the importance of having a personal relationship with Him.

Our call to adopt...

John & I have always had the desire & calling to adopt. This was something we talked about when we first met & have been praying about since we started our life together. Over the past few months I have felt God's pull on my heart. Every time I go to worship, pray, or even brush my teeth :) I feel Him calling for us to adopt...soon. I have tried to shake it, knowing this wasn't "the best time" & when I do I hear His call even more.

After many conversations, and several hours of research we are confident in the step we're taking towards adopting our first child. Just the thought of it brings so much joy to my heart! We wanted to share this with all of you who love & support us and hope you will come along for the journey. As always, your prayers would mean the world to us.

Where we're at right now in "the adoption process" is deciding whether to adopt domestically or internationally. This has been a harder decision than we thought, there is so much need for both. What we DO know is we are planning on adopting an African American infant, probably a male (they are usually the last to get adopted). We have talked with & researched many domestic agencies & are pretty confident in the one we will go with if we choose that route. I am meeting with a few mothers who have adopted both domestically & internationally and looking forward to getting their insight & advice. If any of you know anyone who has experience with adoption please let us know as we would love to talk with them. There is SO much to learn & consider.

You all know that adoption can be expensive, the average cost ranging from $18,000-$30,000 when all is said & done. The cost is pretty comparable for both I & D adoptions. The time it takes to bring your child home is the biggest difference in comparing the two. Being newlyweds & new business owners money is definitely NOT in abundance. We are trying to be wise with how we allocate our income & adoption is something we're saving towards. The cost is more than worth bringing our baby home! We are also looking into financing options.

This news might be surprising to some of you & to many it will come as no surprise at all. We have been shown the Lord's mercy, grace, & love and we look forward to the opportunity to giving a child the chance to live a life & know the Father he/she might otherwise never know. Two of the countries we are looking into for international adoption are Uganda, & the Congo. We are familiar with ministries in both countries. We are hoping to visit the country we choose to adopt from (if we go that route) within the year.

Right now we are allowing our Father to prepare us for this HUGE journey. Our hearts long for our child we have never met. We know the this will take great patience & that many struggles are ahead of us but this is nothing in comparison to bringing our child home. Sorry for sharing this information via blogging for some of you, it is the best and most effective way to share the news with many people. The reason we have chosen to blog about it is because we feel it is a unique way for us to document our journey and share it with all of you. It is also our hope that it will give insight & guidance to couples planning to adopt in the future.

We love you all & are reminded daily of how blessed we are to have such loving and supportive family & friends.

We will keep you posted on here about our journey! Knowing me there will be postings about other Hagensen shinanigans also:)

B & J