Cruz is going to be a (younger) brother!

We can't believe it's been almost 8 months since we announced we were adopting from Ethiopia! The months have been filled with paperwork, home study meetings, & watching the Lord provide as we have had to meet the financial obligations associated with international adoption. We have been excited about adopting again & had in our minds that it would be around 12-18 months from now that we would be home with our little one(s). Well as any believer knows, God LOVES taking our plans, kicking them to the curb & replacing them with something MUCH better! That is exactly what He has done in our lives recently. We can't give out too many details right now per international privacy policies but we are SO extremely excited to announce that we have accepted a referral for a handsome little 10 year old boy in Ethiopia.

After seeing him a couple weeks ago on our agency's "waiting children's list" I (Brittany) have had him on my mind constantly. At first I told myself that adopting a child of his age wasn't the "plan" and that the timing wasn't practical for our life. After not being able to get his sweet face out of my head & praying about it I told John about him, fully expecting that he would think I was a little crazy. When I showed John the picture of the little boy who captured my heart he immediately had a big smile on his face and remarked that "he looks really sweet". If you know my husband, you know he is very analytical and considering adopting this little boy would cause us to stray from our original plan. I asked him to pray about it & he promised me he would. I wasn't sure at the time if the Lord was putting him on my heart to pray for him or if it was something more, maybe even to be his mother.

One evening when John & I were praying together we were brought to tears as we prayed for the orphans in the world and especially the sweet boy who had left such an impression on my heart. We asked for His guidance & that no matter what, the outcome would be that HE would be glorified. After we prayed John looked at me and said "I really think he is meant to be our son".  I was slightly surprised by the conviction in his voice when he said it.  John has a sensitive heart and loves the Lord so incredibly much but he is not one to make irrational statements so I KNEW that for him to feel like that it was something that only the Holy Spirit could do. The next day we contacted the agency to get more information as we had numerous hurdles before even knowing whether it was possible for us to adopt him.

After a few days our agency allowed us to view more of his information & ultimately provided us his referral. For those of you not familiar with what a "referral" is it's a contract between you & the agency saying you either accept or decline to move forward with adopting a child.  It is in this referral that they provide the potential adopting parents with the child's entire file, which virtually encompasses all information pertaining to the child.  We of course humbly ACCEPTED it! It felt as though I had just found out I was pregnant... with a 10 year old!  The peace & joy we feel in making this decision is indescribable. We are aware adopting any child comes with unique blessings & challenges. We consider it a blessing to be able to adopt again & look forward to meeting our son.  Trust me when I tell you, he is a looker! So cute & he has a smile that would melt the coldest heart. God has changed our hearts & minds and thankfully has made it clear "B" (unable to share his name or picture at this time) is meant to be our son. We strongly believe EVERY child deserves a home no matter what their circumstances. After all, he has adopted us into His family despite our circumstances. How great is our God!!

So what now? We are expecting to have "B" home in 4-8 months. As with any adoption finalization, this does not come without risks and variables, but we trust that God's plan is perfect.  Please pray for our sweet boy & that the process to adopt him with go smoothly.  He has experienced many hardships in his life so far & we realize helping him grieve will be part of our transition. Please pray for his heart to be healed.  If you are still reading this we realize it's because you care & we ask for you to be our "village". One of my favorite posts on the topic of how to support adoptive families is- http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/02/how-to-be-the-village .

We love you guys & know with your support and prayers anything is possible!

1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.


Proverbs 31:8-9 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.



Britt & John

Cruzer is 7 months & BIG announcement!

Our smiley, silly, happy boy is getting older. Everyday he becomes more expressive & makes a new sound. Today he was determined to master the art of yelling...all.day.long. He is going to be a little talker like his daddy:) Earlier this month we received our court date for December 13th! We LOVE the #13 in this family. Cruz was born April 13th, brought home with us May 13th & now our adoption will be final December 13th. It's really quite amazing how much joy he has brought to our world. We are loving every moment of parenthood! Was our adoption filled with bumps, yes! Have there been days where I am absolutely exhausted, yes! Would we do it again, YES & WE ARE!!!

As of today we were accepted into AWAA's Ethiopia adoption program! God has put Ethiopia on our hearts since this summer & we are thrilled to officially begin the journey to adopt our next kiddos from this beautiful country. We are hoping to adopt two at the same time. We are open to gender & age (up to 2 for one & 5 for another). At this point we begin our "paperwork pregnancy" & complete our home study. And of course wait...and wait for the phone call that we have a referral(s)! The timespan is anywhere from 1-2 years until we will have them home.

We have been commanded to this & we will follow through. We consider it an honor to be preparing our home and family for new additions through adoption.

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.

Psalms 68:5-6

Do we have any concerns going into this adoption? Absolutely. Concern thinking of the trials we will face through this process & in the parenting of hurting, scared children. We have no experience with parenting older children & may not have all the tools to handle what is coming our way. We could ignore the fact that there are over 147 MILLION orphans in this world. Turn our attention to something "easier" to do as an act of service & commitment to His word. With God's grace & guidance we will only say yes. YES to the hurting. YES to the lonely. YES to the parentless. YES to the love of another child. YES to getting our hands dirty. YES to being vulnerable. YES to the direction God has lead us. Because Jesus said YES to us. John & I are adoption success stories. God took me in when I was lonely & hurting. I was given a new life & became a child of His forever. Thank you Jesus!

But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

Galatians 4:4-6

We ask that you come along side us in this adoption journey to grow the Hagensen clan. Please pray for our children that we have not met yet. We love you & are humbled by your support.

~Brittany

Cruz is 5 months!

It seems like the past month has gone by so incredibly fast! Cruz is growing like crazy & becoming more adorable every day. His smile & laugh brighten our days! He is happiest in the morning & loves standing and sitting up with help of mommy & daddy. Being his parent is like a dream come true! Below is a pic from his 5 month shoot...representing mama's college:) Love those chunky thighs!

Our little sailor!

I am waiting for our little man to wake up for his 10pm feed & thought I would post a few pics from yesterday. We have been enjoying plenty of boat rides while here in ND. Cruz is really starting to love looking around at different things & talking (babbling) about what he's seeing. I love his raspy little voice! Below are some pics from our "Cruz" the other night... get it;) I know, I'm hilarious. Ha! -Britt

Only Cruz could pull off a double chin like this one!

Mommy's taking pictures again!?

Cruz is 3 months!

Like the old sayin goes, no news is good news! Sorry we haven't updated you in awhile, we've been busy changing diapers, washing bottles & loving on our sweet son. We are so in love with him & are reminded daily of how blessed we are...even if that reminder comes at 1 am, 3 am, & 6 am every night;) Cruz is growing like CRAZY! He is getting so long & developed. Not to mention packing on some major lbs! Those chubby cheeks are mama's favorite:) He is smiling a ton now especially in the morning. He loves looking around at his surroundings & babbling. I have a feeling our little man is going to be quite the talker like his daddy! We have been in North Dakota for the majority of the summer & Cruz has experienced his first boat ride, long car ride (which he was a champ on) & has been enjoying plenty of walks through my parent's neighborhood. We have flew to the north west to visit family a few weeks ago. We went to Portland & Seattle. Both trips were a blast & we relished in every opportunity to introduce Cruz to his relatives. He is so loved! He is right on schedule with all his milestones & of course mom and dad think he is a little advanced for his age;) Spoken like a true parent, right!?

Below are a few 3 month pics we took of his yesterday. Enjoy!

Cruz got mini dreads yesterday too!

Just when we thought the story was over...

If you are reading this then by now you are already aware that we now have a son, Cruz Thomas Hagensen! He is perfect to us in every way and we could not be more proud of the little stud-muffin God has chosen for our family. He was born on April 13th, 2011 and officially became our son one month later on May 13th, 2011. Many of you have been understandably perplexed at how our loss and grief dramatically turned from tears of sadness to those of joy. "How? When? Huh?" Brittany and my desire is to fill in those blanks...at least as best we can while operating on very little sleep and even less emotional energy.

As a quick side-note: I would encourage those of you unaware of what has happened over the past month to read our last few blog posts and then come back to read this one. I am writing under the assumption that you know the background leading up to now.

Shanae text Brittany on Wednesday night, May 11th, to ask "How you doing?". This was the first time that we had heard from her since she had a change of heart and decided to parent. We were both predictably anxious simply at the sight of her name on Brittany's phone. It wasn't that we harbored any feelings of anger towards her, but hearing her text was a swift reminder of the hurt we had experienced through her relationship. After a couple minutes passed with no response, she text again. This time her text said, "If this is still Brittany's phone please call or text me as soon as possible." At this point I instantly thought that she was having second thoughts (or third, or fourth, or... well is anyone even counting at this point?).

We had hundreds of text message conversations with Shanae over the months, but never once had we spoken over the phone, and that is what made this seemingly normal request so note-worthy. After a quick discussion we decided that allowing her to call us seemed like the right thing to do as she obviously needed us at that moment. Shanae called and explained that she "couldn't do it anymore." That as much as she loved her boy, she knew why she wanted an adoption plan in the first place. She said that the reality had set in, and that she wasn't capable at this time of properly caring for four children on her own.

Because this conversation happened relatively late in the evening, the agency was closed and we told her that everything would have to coordinate through them. We hung up the phone and truly thought the possibility was remote of us actually adopting the very same little boy we had taken home from the hospital almost exactly one month earlier. We were guarded, emotionally numb, and adamantly set on not letting ourselves "go there." We decided that we would not discuss this conversation/possibility with friends and family because we didn't want to put all of you through the emotional ups and downs once more. In hindsight, I believe it was also a defense mechanism for ourselves: the less people who knew, the less "real" it would seem to us, and as a result we would experience less pain "when" it ended in heartache.

The next morning our agency concluded that it would be in everyone's best interest for Shanae to think her decision through for a 24 hour period. After all, signing relinquishment papers is an irrevocable act that carries lifelong implications, and certainly not one that should be made out of emotion. On Friday morning, after having time to process, Shanae contacted us to meet her at our agency in downtown Phoenix. After a couple hours and a thousand tears she had signed papers and we were taking our little man home forever!

Quantifying or measuring our excitement at that moment would be impossible, but what I can say is that we both felt very mixed emotions. Although we rest assured that God's plan is perfect and we whole-heartedly trust that Cruz was born to be a part of our family, it was difficult to take satisfaction in what was simultaneously breaking the heart of another.

Shanae's grief was intense and raw, but what was even more overwhelming was the hovering existence and presence of the Lord. He had orchestrated a beautiful and perfect ending to His story, and I am confident that he is pleased. God's hand was at work long before Brittany and I ever met. We were merely pieces on his chess board, or characters in his book, being used for his perfect purposes. We feel so blessed that He chose to use us in such a beautiful way, in such a life-changing way.

When we embarked on this journey Brittany and I had a prayer of one: that no matter what we encountered God would be glorified through this adoption. Now, one year later His perfect plan has been revealed and we can rest confident that the Lord's will was in fact done.

Thank you for your love and support! We cannot wait to introduce Cruz to each and every one of you. He is our miracle; a constant reminder of God's faithfulness in our lives. We couldn't be more blessed!

Until our next adoption...

Britt & John

Mother's Day

I am so thankful for my amazing mother. The one who held my hands when I was learning how to walk, drove across town to bring me my forgotten lunch at school & the one who has comforted me in my times of worry & doubt. For those of you who know my mother you KNOW she is one of a kind. Her zest for life is contagious & her optimism inspiring. She takes a tough situation & is able to see the good in it. Her beauty is not only skin deep, she has a heart for others & is able to connect with just about anyone. My mother is a role model to me. She is the mother I hope to be someday to our children. I love you mom!

Today is bittersweet for me. I thought I was going to be the one receiving phone calls & cards for being a mother on this special day. I thought I would be looking into my baby's eyes & holding him in my arms, I thought I would be the one standing in church being acknowledged for being a mommy. Though I don't know what the future holds I am holding on to the joy & peace that only He can give. I am so blessed today. I am not a mother & I don't know when I will become one BUT I am a wife, daughter, sister & friend. For those things I am so thankful!

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mommies out there! I am so inspired by all of you. Never take those cuddles & bedtime stories for granted;)

- Britt